Mon Raison d’Etre

I want to unleash Who I Am now

Share your dreams, goals, & aspirations with me. 

Let’s create a space in which we can build them together. 

I am building my wellness coach profession 

I want to practice teaching my tools. Guiding participants towards empowering themselves to enrich their lives and gain access to the doors  of their Highest Self and reach their personal heaven within.

It sounds very romantic.

But it entails facing the Beauty, and the Beast; that raw, untamed Truth within. Your Light and Your Shadow.

It involves crawling thru your shit.

Often it comes down to crying & flailing as the bottom falls out, and you can’t find which way is up, as you sink into an inner well of abyss thoroughly shuttered in inescapable darkness, until you land in the deepest dark space within, (commonly in the form of a rock cave), only to stumble around & end up in a black quicksand where you sink even deeper, until you’re suffocating, & the pressure is unbearable.

This is the Dark Night of the Soul. Often preceded by a whirlwind of chaos that pummels you to no end.

And just when you think, you just can’t take any more and you might as well die — because, really what is the point of this meaningless existence anyway? — that’s when the life saver donut drops you a line to begin to pull out. To come up for air. And when the chips are down and you are desperate to decide if you will continue or give up, if you can find what you already have, then you can see that you can really save yourself.

And you’ll discover pockets of air are found in the crevices.  And with nothing to lose, but the will to go on, you carry on & find dust of hope illuminating a path to a higher plane. And realize that you have the power to grow your own hope.

Through wielding your power, you are able to slough off your old skin so that you can emerge as a new strengthened being.

What does this constitute?

Looking in the mirror  & reflecting on what we see while holding ourselves accountable for our actions.

It is catching yourself in the moment – “is this action leading me to where I said I no longer wish to go?…” – and choosing to pivot away instead of slipping right back into the same old habit by the same old triggers with the same old results.

It is bold and daring

It can be utterly terrifying 

But the other side of the coin is to remain buried and missing out on the fullness of what life really has to offer.

Of remaining muted, filled with longing to emerge and be more, yet equally filled with regret of what should have been, if only…

To emerge and take flight  you have to crawl on your belly and struggle  

Birthing is a ragged process

Of blood, sweat, shit & tears

It is not for the meek

Though this is indeed the more common path on the healing journey to enlightenment, the utter disintegration brought on by the Dark Night of the Soul need not be such a battle ground in which one is totally wiped out.

[I’m mentioning Jesus Christ, only because so many know about Him. Not to irk anyone or push anyone away; I’m agnostic.]

Jesus was said to have experienced a Dark Night of the Soul, and entered it (mostly), willingly in surrender (though maybe not without doubt). His choice was to be a symbol and the Last Blood Sacrifice. He was said to have taken the experience on for all of the World so that no one need go through it again. He chose to experience the utter disintegration on behalf of us all.

For the rest of us, the throttling in the experience is often the result of those who refuse to let go of the old way; but whose Soul is begging to evolve.

However, mastication achieved by struggle often facilitates the opportunity to rip apart & breakdown the muscle so that it can build back stronger. So though there may be an overall advantage to being throttled, still, the savage brutality is not necessary. But you do have to be willing to let things go, in order to grow. And to take responsibility for your mind and use your power to dictate your life & write your story.

But imagine a world full of Power Houses. Owning who they are. Living in consciousness, intuitively aware of what is the best path to take, unhindered by fear, unafraid to show who they really are, and stepping in action with love & compassion. Reflecting agape for all of humanity. For all terrestrials. For the planet  we dwell upon together. 

It is a wild ride of inner adventure

It is how I have dreamt of living for all time. 

I wish to be this now. 

I have been through the Dark Night of the Soul that lasted half a decade

I desire to help others try it so they do not have to feel forgotten, unforgivable, unlovable, alone

I wish to find others seeking to journey. 

Others who know they need stillness & silence as equally as they need togetherness & jubilation

This is my birthday wish.

Signed Nov 12, 2024